The Dish by Darcie

Dear Darcie, I made a mistake and I just threw a shock collar into the trash. They didn’t call it a “shock collar”, they called it a “remote collar” and they gave me training tips and told me how to use it. I’ve read your blog for a long time, I know you don’t like mixing batteries with dogs. (I missed your fence jumping article, that would have been so much better than this, I read that today.) I feel so bad. My dog will not come to me any more. When I call her, she crouches down and keeps her legs rigid at four corners of her body. She cowers and shivers and shakes and pants. She won’t eat. The shock wasn’t that bad I didn’t think, I used it on myself, it was more like a vibration. The reason I used it was because she was jumping the fence. “They” said that one or two pushes of the button and she’d never do it again and “they” said she would not know it was me doing it to her. Well, they were right about her not wanting to jump the fence any more, she won’t even go into the back yard. How will I fix her now? I’m not the type of guy who cries very often but this did it for me. She’s broken and wants to sleep all the time. (Name withheld)

I know “They” and who they are and I still don’t know why they think they know so much. You might start telling everyone you know not to do what “They” say.

You and I talked for quite a while this morning. It’s been five days and she’s still the same. And yes, I know you are not the type of guy who would hurt a dog. Lots of people are easily lured into a “quick fix” with shock collars. You did a good thing by throwing the collar away and not passing it on to hurt another dog. You’re beating yourself up pretty bad right now, you don’t need me or anyone else to make it any worse for you. Your experience may help a lot of dogs. Thank you for bringing this story into the light of day and not hiding it. I promised I won’t post your name and I won’t.

Your girl is going to need some help to overcome her fear of the back yard, of her daily life, and you. Find your inner quiet place and forgive yourself. Find someone local to you who can help her. Only positive training and only someone who does not get frustrated or angry. Your girl is going to need all the good care and strength she can get. I’ve given you my short list, they will be good to you. You’re too far away for me to come and help but I know they’ll be able to help. It won’t be free.

You can start the process by yourself as if she was brand new to you. If I’d just adopted her, I would take her on a leash out walking for at least an hour and a half a couple of times a day, every day. Walk as if you’re in Heaven, walk as if you have no worries, walk as if you have no where to go but lots of energy to get there. This kind of walking is relaxed, it will not add to her anxiety. Walking will help her readjust her mind. When you come home, come into the backyard, then to the house. You’re giving her a different view of the house. You don’t have to do that every time but I think you’ll find that coming in from a different way may help her learn that the yard isn’t scary any more.

Read this and make your yard a fun place. You might get lucky and she’ll come out of it quickly. Some dogs never recover completely, it’s why I’m so against these types of collars. There are experts who ruin dogs with them. Those of us who aren’t experts can’t assume that we’ll do any better. Here’s the article I wrote some time ago Yard dogs, barking, jumping fence. I hope you find some help in here.

I would strongly recommend clicker training now. Go to www.sitstay.com and search for ‘clicker’. The Getting Started Clicking Kit is great. It’s the fastest way I know to help dogs get over their fears. A long time ago, a dog show judge in Houston, Texas scared the daylights out of our then young Tilli. The judge thought that Tilli was too big and wanted to measure her with a wicket. The judge called for her wicket and marched toward Tilli, the wicket held high over her head. For days, Tilli was terrified of women who looked like that judge and of anything over her head. It was a long few days for the rest of the show. I should have used my clicker at the show. I think I was so mad at the judge, me and everyone else who saw it happen, that my good judgement went out the window. I didn’t know then that a clicker could solve fear troubles. When I got home, I pulled out my clicker and in about seven minutes, Tilli was crawling under kitchen chairs and even let a woman hold an umbrella over her head. Fears can be resolved with positive training. Oh, by the way, that judge was known as “The Wicket Witch”.

Forgive yourself completely right now, right this minute. Share with other dog lovers, every one who will listen. You beating yourself up is not going to help your dog and might make things worse for her. It’s a new day. You can’t do anything about yesterday or even a minute ago. Then move forward believing that everything is going to be better. And then work to make it better. Darcie

I sat down to watch some TV tonight and Oliver crawled up beside me. He doesn’t jump onto the couch, he kind of puts one foot up, then slowly puts another up, dragging himself almost as if he’s not going to make it at all. He could jump if he wanted to. He’s so sweet! A great big lug of warmth. He’s almost as big as I am so when he sits down next to me it’s more of a sitting on top of me with his head and one shoulder in my lap. He’s over 80 pounds now. It feels so good to have him snuggle.

He started dreaming. He does this thing where he kind of moan barks only it’s very quiet. At one point there were puppies squeaking on the TV and he lifted his head but he didn’t open his eyes. He put his head down again.

A little later a little girl was laughing with her mother. Oliver’s head shot up and he did the head tilt thing back and forth and back and forth. I said, “Do you hear that little girl laughing?” like we do when we talk that baby talk to the dogs. Oliver looked over at me with his head but his eyes were still on the TV. He’s too much!

I’ll be adding some really fun training tips to the SitStay.com Easy Training Tips Newsletter. So far and for the past fourteen years, people and their dogs have been doing really good with my tips. I try to make them easy and step by step so no one feels like they have to go to training school to get results.

When Bruno and Dancer were still living, they and Tilli loved to show off our training to anyone who wanted to watch. It was great fun for me, too. I’d ask the dogs to sit side by side at one end of the warehouse. I’d put a lovely, beautiful smelling pile of treats about halfway down the warehouse floor and point at it and say, “Mine”. Then I would go to the other end of the warehouse. I’d call the dogs one by one by name. Each would come in their turn to me and sit having made a wide berth around the pile of treats. They got pretty dramatic with avoiding the treats sometimes and our audience and I would wind up laughing. Sometimes I think the dogs did that just to get more giggles, they did like to show off. Then I would release only one dog to go back to eat the goodies. Applause all around. I sure do miss those days! It was quite a picture with three gorgeous Belgian Tervuren lined up side by side.

One of Dancer’s best tricks was “Come closer”. I’d call her to me and she’d come. Then I would say, “Come closer” and she’d move her body a little closer to me. Then in a softer voice I’d say, “Come closer” and she’d move even closer. I’d get down beside her, me on my knees. We’d keep it up until finally I’d be whispering very softly, “Come closer” and she would have her body pressed up as tight as she could to me with her face on mine. Another crowd pleaser.

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[Please share SitStay.com with everyone you know. The more sales we make this holiday season, the more we can donate to rescue!  There are a ton of dogs in the rescue system, they could sure use the extra help. Thanks, Everybody! Darcie]