The Dish by Darcy

Hi Darcie, Happy Thanksgiving to you and your gang! I couldn’t read all of this article that was in this morning’s NY Times but knew that I needed to forward it to you. Yikes! Best, Jan

Dear Readers, I mentioned a long time ago in one of my articles that if people treated their children like Cesar treated the dogs in his TV show episodes (jerking, pressuring, holding them down by the throat, hanging them until they give up, “biting” them on the neck with a hand to get their attention, shock collars around the neck), they’d be carted off to jail so I agree, the article left me feeling very sad for all kids whose parents are going to try this. We already have a world where children are taken from abusive parents and put into a foster care system that isn’t much better. (Some foster parents dedicate their lives to helping children and they are blessings to those kids. Many foster parents do a lousy job of parenting and care taking, those are the ones who don’t know how to communicate with the children, their homes are just a place to park a kid for a while. Kids who go into the foster system are often kids who live the rest of their lives in trouble. Research the statistics about how many kids are abused and neglected in foster homes before you argue that point with me.)

For those of you who love Cesar and his show, yes, I know that he says that exercise, discipline, and affection are what is needed to raise and train a good dog. I absolutely agree with that but it’s not what you see on the TV show. The Times article is suggestive of watching the show to learn how to raise children. Will the parents heed the warnings and the disclaimers sprinkled through the show or not? Those warnings say, “Don’t do this at home.” The people who try the methods at home with their dogs have dismissed the warnings, why would they bother if they believe it will also work with an unruly kid?

What do I suggest for raising kids? For those of you who get your education by watching TV, watch Super Nanny. She’s Victoria Stilwell’s It’s Me or the Dog of the human world. No beating, no jerking, no yelling.

What do we want for our children? We want them to grow up learning to be self sufficient and steady, happy people, making rational and strong decisions for themselves. To make a home of their own, to live happily and effectively in the world, raising their own children to do the same. To come and visit us because they like us, to call, and bring the grandkids over. You can’t have any of that with fear based or abusive training.

What do we want for the dogs that we love? We want dogs who will do what we ask, when we ask, happily and without fear. We want dogs who want to be with us.

Cesar Millan says his methods teach dogs to be followers of people. Do you want your children to be followers or leaders? Same methods, same results.

When you open the article below, click to make the photo of the parents, the dog and the sitting child larger. Look carefully at the product of their Cesar’s Way on dogs and children. Not only is the mother holding a bleached rawhide bone which can kill dogs, but see the tentative way the dog is checking it out? The dog is not at ease. Is that fear of approaching the woman? See the brow line and the lips on the little child? Go look in the mirror and make your forehead, brow, and lips do that. How does it make you feel? Tell me that is a happy dog and a happy child. You can’t. It’s a shot in time but if it’s true that a picture is worth a thousand words and it usually is, these are not happy, relaxed and carefree kids. – Darcie

Read this article New York Times Becoming the Alpha Dog in Your Own Home. Already the article has had so many hits that the Times is making you sign up to read it. Interesting. Don’t you think?

Princess Fiona brushed her teeth with my toothbrush!

I walked into the bathroom to get ready for bed and there she was. Fiona, sitting on the vanity, chewing on my toothbrush. I wonder how long she’s been doing that!

I thank God for Fiona and for my new toothbrush which now resides inside the drawer. – Darcie

I give thanks.

When times are hard and the days are long, our songs are longer than they normally are. Our voices reach out to this troubled world and we pray an extra prayer for those who have less than we do.

We think of the children whose mothers and fathers have died keeping our nation safe from harm. We cry for the wives and husbands left behind with children who don’t understand why Mommy and Daddy can’t come home any more.

Our thoughts go to all of those who have died before us, our dogs, our friends, our neighbors, our parents, our children. We are thankful for all of them. Thankful that they were with us for a while. Thankful for their spirit and for the power they left to us to go on without them.

In these days when some might think the bad things will never end, the wars will never stop, the fighting will not cease, the pain will endure, we still give thanks. We give thanks because we have hope. Hope can never die.

This Thanksgiving I fill my heart with gladness that I have lived with the love of beautiful people. I thank all of those who say things about me that aren’t true because I find that I am strong enough today to not let those things change who I am inside. When I face trouble, I find my quiet inner self telling me that none of this really matters at all and my ego quiets and disappears for a while and I smile to myself. I’ve been through some pretty tough times in my life compared to some. Compared to others, my life has been a normal up and down story with more ups than down. No matter how hard the downs were, I go on. I have to. I know what’s coming next. It’s more of life.

No matter the sorrow, the loss, the hardships, we all still have the good times, the wins, and the smiles of people around us. The laughter of babies. The smile from a stranger returned by us. The smell of bread and coffee as it hangs in the air, no matter if it’s at home in our own kitchen or in a mission where people without a place to live right now gather together and are cared for by the most selfless of us.

Even in times when it’s dark and it seems like there is no way out, there is still light. The light is in all of us. Give this season, please. If you have nothing to give, give of yourself. Do something for someone else. People are good. When you do good for them, they return that good. A man who scoops snow might get a warm belly full of soup from a elderly woman. A young man who has no gloves might carry groceries for a man who has two pair and gives one pair to the younger. A young widow might offer to cook a meal for a neighbor and that neighbor might invite her and her children to join the table. The person with everything might share a portion of that with whoever comes their way.

If you have everything, please give to those who don’t have enough. If you have nothing, give of yourself.

I believe that the world turns all the way around and comes back to us. When we give, that gift grows and grows and when the world comes back around, we can accept the bounty with an open heart. If you have never given with a whole heart with no conditions and no strings, you have to try it, the returns will make you want to do it over and over again.

I’m making it my intention this holiday season to insure that at least one more person doesn’t go hungry today. That one more child doesn’t cry of hunger all night. That one more man doesn’t have to worry about how to feed his family. That one more women doesn’t stay awake wondering how to keep the kids warm. Just for one day. That just one more child won’t wake up on Christmas morning without believing in miracles. That one more dog living in rescue will have another meal and a kind hand reaching out. Just this one more time.

One day. One minute. This one second. It’s all that really counts. What happened yesterday is gone, it’s past, we can’t change anything that happened before now. What happens tomorrow is anybody’s guess. But right now, right this minute, I can make a difference for somebody.

Did you make your minute count for a person today? I know your dog made it happen for you. All we have to do is look at our dogs and we’ll know what to do for somebody else. It’s always been that way. And it’s that way right now.

I thank you for your friendship, your prayers, your criticism, your support, your best wishes, your business and your love of dogs. Life is just getting started. No matter where we’re starting from. Now is all that matters. Live for now. Love for now. Hug your dog for right now.

Hugs to your dogs, Everybody! Happy Thanksgiving. – Darcie