The Dish by Darcie

Dear Darcie, How should I have introduced a new puppy into my house? My older girl won’t leave her alone, she bites and growls at her and the puppy didn’t do anything to my old lady. Thanks, Melanie

Dear Melanie,

You might think your puppy didn’t do anything to her but if your older girl is a normal steady dog otherwise, the pup probably did. Like staring at her or jumping into her face or biting her tail or being too loud for an old lady..or simply taking up energy space as pups tend to do. Visit a preschool if you don’t know for sure what I’m talking about. Those little kids take up a lot of space for such little people. It’s why really old ladies would rather not babysit.

Yes, sometimes older dogs don’t seem to like it when you bring in a new dog. But it’s your house, not theirs, and you make the rules. We will all get along.

Your old dog is the equivalent of 80 in human years. When was the last time you were around a really older lady who didn’t mind if the little kids went screaming through the house, yelling, and taking up so much oxygen? Does “Mind your manners, little missy, and stay off of my feet!” Sound familiar? Most older dogs think a good offense is the best defense. Don’t wait for it to happen when you can squelch the little brat before she jumps on you.

Here’s how I’ve always introduced new dogs into my house, pups and older dogs. We all meet outside in a more neutral place and go for a walk. It’s that simple. Everybody is headed in the same direction. And we walk and walk. For at least 40 minutes. No stopping to sniff or pee, should have done that before you left home. Walking, walking, walking. No time to growl or snap, no bad manners, no dogs talking to each other or looking at each other. We’re walking all in the same direction. Dogs get this, they don’t feel threatened when we’re all going the same way.

If you live in town or if you don’t absolutely trust your older dog to be perfectly good, everyone should be on a leash. The new puppy or new dog should always be on a leash, you don’t know them very well yet. Better to be prepared for anything.

If you live in the country and your older dog will stay with you on this walk, you may not need a leash for her. In your case you don’t trust your older dog, I’d say leash everybody just to be safe and make sure that we all stay walking in the same direction.

Relax on this walk. Breathe normally. Stay calm. It’s a good walk. Don’t concern yourself with problems that haven’t happened. Walk as quickly as the slowest or smallest can go. Little puppies can’t walk fast for a long way, pick her up and carry her every now and then, when you do, walk faster for your adult dog. (It’s always nice to have another person along for this walk but I’ve done it alone lots of times.)

End the walk at the door you normally enter your house through. Everyone goes into the house and you must act like this is the most normal thing ever.”We’re home. Let’s get a drink and some supper.” Let your older dog get a drink, then the pup gets a drink. Then go get something for everybody to eat. Hand feed. Keep the pup on leash.

I don’t buy into the theory that the dominate dog or oldest dog must enter the house first. It’s not been an issue at my house who goes in first as long as it’s me, I call the dogs in behind me. Remember to protect your puppy from your adult dog when going through a small space like a doorway or a hall. That only means to watch for any snapping, growling. After a long walk, I just don’t see that. Again, it can help to have another human to help you with all of this. Stay relaxed and calm like you’ve been doing this for 100 years. This is normal and the way it will be forever after.

I like to end the walk with a drink and a meal then a nap for the dogs. Do have a crate and a pen set up before you bring the new dog home. Pup goes into her crate. Your old dog sleeps where she normally does.

I put my old girl into the puppy’s pen for her own quiet time just to keep her “safe” from the raucous playing pup or new dog. She is very grateful that I understand she needs a quiet place away from the other dogs while they play and make puppy noises. It’s okay if you want to use her own crate or quiet place but this way she is forced to lay quietly in the space that smells like the new pup. In my experience, the older dog accepts the new dog more quickly when she gets accustomed quickly to the new dog’s smell.

I feed all of my dogs by hand, side by side, every single meal of their lives. If someone acts up, growls or goes after someone else, they do not get the next bite. If they do it twice, they do not get to finish dinner. It’s amazing how quickly we learn to get along with each other.

It doesn’t sound like your old girl is attacking the puppy so much as telling the puppy to stay out of her face. She hasn’t bitten the pup or hurt her, and the puppy gave up immediately which is normal puppy behavior with an old dog. Some of that is okay, I like to let my older dogs help teach manners without going overboard. The pup has to learn that she cannot jump on Aunt Grace, Aunt Grace is old and doesn’t like that. Aunt Grace needs to learn that we don’t hurt the puppy either.

Make sure that every day everyone gets plenty of exercise, plenty to eat at regular times, lots of rest, and mind games like positive training and intelligence toys that you can find at SitStay.com.

Time away from each other and time alone with you for each is essential. You are their leader and parent really. Teach them good manners and play and laugh with them alone and together. I wouldn’t worry to much about a few manners lessons here and there. If there’s a squabble or two, don’t get too bent out of shape about it. It happens at my house, too, and we seem to all be the better for it.

If I were you, I would start all over as if you never brought the pup home. Try the steps above and see if things change at your house. If your girl starts to hurt the pup or things get worse, seek professional help with your dogs. Read every dog book you can to understand more about dog behavior, see our library at SitStay.com for the best authors living.