The Dish by Darcy

Can you give me some advice about how best to train my dog? I want that bond I hear other dog lovers talk about. Everyone who has been to SitStay says that you have that loving bond with your dogs. How do I get it? Thanks. Mary

A long, long, long time ago, I lived and worked on a ranch. One day two male herding dogs were dumped near the ranch by somebody who didn’t want them any more. They came up to the barn. One of the ranch hands named them Joe and Bob. Both had been neutered, both were not afraid of, but cautious around people. They didn’t seem to be related to each other although we never knew for sure. They were the same breed if I remember right. Neither of the dogs bothered the cattle or the horses. They weren’t aggressive and got along with each other just fine. The boss asked if I would take care of them and train them, maybe they’d be cattle dogs and earn their keep. I agreed saying that I would try and the boss let them stay.

Joe bonded quickly to me like we’d known each other forever. I really liked that dog. After a short time, Joe would do anything for me, it seemed like all I had to do was think it and he’d do it. Bob was a good dog but it took a lot longer to get the heart-to-heart thing going with him, he remained cautious. What was the difference? Why would one behave one way and one another? Same training, same food, same everything. Or was it?

I’m a day dreamer. There are times I spend way too much time thinking about why things happen. Day dreaming has served me well. One day at the barn I was sitting on a bale of hay watching the two dogs. It was a Sunday and the animals had all been fed. I felt lazy and warm. Joe was laying down directly in front of me, alert, his eyes on my eyes, and waiting for something to happen. Bob was lying down on some hay about fifteen feet away. He would lift his head every once in a while as if to say, “oh, I thought maybe you were going to say something.” And when I didn’t, he’d lay his head back down, his eyes open, watching me. I sat on that bale of hay while the sun moved across the barn. The shadows grew darker and I could see the dust in the beams of light peaking through the cracks. I sat and I watched them and watched them and found myself day dreaming. What was the difference in these dogs? Why does Joe keep such close touch and Bob so far away? And then it came to me. I wasn’t doing the same things with them at all. The things I wanted to train were the same, but how I was dealing with each dog was different.

Bob got his dinner in a pan. Every day. I’d toss a bone to him. Every day. I fed him like an afterthought. Usual, nothing special. Dinner time, okay here’s your dinner, Bob. He inhaled his food from the dish and took the bone away and ate it lying down. After he was done eating, he would watch me from far away. Waiting and watching.

I always fed Joe by hand. All the time. Every bite. There was something immediately about Joe that made me want to spend more time with him, give him favors, treats, food, petting, praise, love, put my hands on him…the things that we do for someone we fall in love with at first sight. I gave him food, every single bite, with my hand. He never ate out of a dish. I even held his bones for him. And he was right there right beside me, all the time, no matter whether I had food in my hand or not.

I changed the way I trained that very day and from that day on, both dogs were at my beck and call. Joe and Bob loved me as much as I loved them. Both dogs turned out to be excellent cattle dogs. I probably didn’t have much to do with that, I didn’t train them to work cattle. I expect that came naturally to them. The thing I did do was put a great recall on both, taught them to lie down with a hand signal, and to make large circles one way and then the other at a walk or at a run with a simple arm signal. I was not a dog trainer in those days.

The moral of the story of Joe and Bob is a simple one. Food makes a bond. What is your favorite comfort food? Who do you think of when you think of that food? Your Mom? Aunt Orma? The pastor’s wife from down the street who fed you hot cookies from the oven when your Mom was working? That bond will last forever. And it was created with food.

It’s the same thing with dogs. Food is basic. Food is essential. Food is power. Today I am a dog trainer. And I know that food is the fastest way to make a bond with a dog. Feed by hand. Every bite. Every morsel is earned some how. Sit. Look at my eyes. Turn around. Back up. Be still. Don’t bark. Bark. Every kibble. Every piece of meat, every bone. All of it from your hand. And the hands of your family and friends. Everyone you want your dog to be happy to be around. Supervise your children while they feed the dogs by hand. Grandma and Grandpa and friends should get into this, too. Words like gentle and easy will be used when the dog tries to grab or use teeth. Soft teeth and a soft mouth feel so nice. Meal times become bonding and training times. It’s powerful.

Add clicker training to meal times and you will have dogs and kids laughing and loving being with each other. You’ll have dogs who will sit because your little two year old said so. Dogs who will lay down and be still for Grandma as she cooks dinner, she’s babysitting these good dogs while you and the kids take a nice vacation. Dogs who will be at your beck and call. Dogs who will do anything for you just because you asked.