My dog doesn't like someone else in the household

“My husband and I just adopted a puppy and the puppy doesn’t like him! She loves me. She won’t let him touch her and she runs away to hide. He spends his day at home with her and he is kind to her. She just doesn’t want anything to do with him. When I come home, she runs to me and won’t leave my side. What can we do to get her to like him?”

When we got Dancer she was supposed to be Kent’s dog. She bonded to me immediately and she’s still my best girl. She loves Kent too but if she has her druthers, she’ll be with me. When we got Tilli, I stayed completely away from her so she would bond to Kent. She may have anyway, we don’t know for sure, but we weren’t taking any chances. It wasn’t easy not getting to play with that sweet little thing but it was worth it. She loves him so much it would make you cry to see them together. Good thing she’s a dog and not a woman or I’d be in a great deal of trouble.

I find it interesting that dogs are a lot like us and so much more like our children. Loud voices bother some of us; some of us don’t like whispering. Some of us don’t like the way someone smells, sometimes it’s the curve of the smile, the turn of a head, or the lift of a hand. Either way, it’s locked somewhere in our history of experience to react. Pay close attention to how you feel or react next time you meet someone new. Try to figure out why you react the way you do. Was it something they said or the way they said it? Was it the scent of their cologne or maybe a food odor hanging on them? Do they look like someone who yelled at you? Maybe they remind you of someone who pronounced you smart when you did something clever? Things stay with us and I find that often it has something to do with scent, food, or position. Sometimes “bad” things can be turned into good feelings. Next time someone whispers at the other side of the room as you go by, pop a chocolate into your mouth and smile really big. See if it changes the experience for you. They probably weren’t talking about you anyway and now you’re all happy with endorphins dripping out of your brain. I love that feeling!

So what to do to get the dog to like the man? There are many theories and methods from trainers who achieve really good results with their behavior training. I like to start where you and the dog live. Scent, food, position. Each is strong by itself and together they are mighty persuaders for attention and bonding. The main thing I like about using these things is: it doesn’t cost any money, it happens in your regular life, and you don’t have to be an expert dog trainer to do it.

Scent — Woman sleeps in man’s shirt or wears it around home one day, leaving it with him the next. Man wears shirt during the day. This puts her scent on him. Adding a scent that the dog already likes to a kind, happy, relaxed man and you have a strong, positive combination.

Food — Feed good food whether it’s your own raw or home cooked food, or a really good commercial food. The man will hand feed the dog every bite of every meal for the next two weeks. Sit on the floor or in a chair, don’t bend over the top of her. The dog is on a leash. Don’t insist that she take the food; don’t even look at the dog. Hold out the food and let her take it in her own time. Be patient. If she refuses, put the food away and try again later. (Healthy dogs can go a day or so without eating.) After five days if the dog is eating from his hand without any resistance, the dog must start doing something for a bite of food. Let her choose what that thing might be and with each thing she does, she gets a bite…no more free food after this. Turn around, look cute, lie down, Sit, Stay. (Hey, what a great name for a store!) Pretty quick, you’ll be training her to do these things on cue. For a while though, it’s all about bonding, so go slow. The woman should let her man feed the dog every single bite and she should be quiet. Don’t tell him how to do it, let it be him and the dog. Even if he does it “wrong”, leave him and the dog alone. No food from the woman at all. Hey, she already likes you. After two weeks, take turns feeding bites during the same meal. Maybe a round robin of come commands. Adding laughter and joy is a good thing.

Position — Umbilical cord connecting man to dog. This 6 foot leash will not only create a totally supervised dog and create impeccable manners in a very short time, she can’t run away to hide. If the dog is not in her crate resting, she is attached during the day to the man by the umbilical cord. He will not try to pet the dog or hold her. If she picks up something she shouldn’t, he will trade her for something that is hers to chew on or play with. He will not stare at her and will speak to her softly and in matter of fact tones. He will go about his day as always. Making breakfast, eating it (he might give the dog the very last little bitty bite if she’s being quiet), reading the paper, doing the laundry, sweeping floors, maybe a little TV or a good book, and going for a walk of course! She’ll be along for the every day stuff understanding this is what we do in this house and it’s a great way to spend the day.

It’s pretty amazing how quickly we forget what “danger” is when we’re introduced to things that make us feel good. Warmth in a voice and chocolate does it for me. Scent, food and position might be the ticket for this dog.

Some of the most wonderful books written are in our SitStay library. I have trouble choosing a favorite, here are a few: The Culture Clash, The Other End of the Leash, Help for your Fearful Dog, Positive Perspectives, The Dog Whisperer by Paul Owens, and Don’t Shoot the Dog.