The Dish by Darcie

“My husband and I just adopted a puppy and the puppy doesn’t like him! She loves me. She won’t let him touch her and she runs away to hide. He spends his day at home with her and he is kind to her. She just doesn’t want anything to do with him. When I come home, she runs to me and won’t leave my side. What can we do to get her to like him?“

When we got Dancer she was supposed to be Kent’s dog. She bonded to me immediately and she’s still my best girl. She loves Kent too but if she has her druthers, she’ll be with me. When we got Tilli, I stayed completely away from her so she would bond to Kent. She may have anyway, we don’t know for sure, but we weren’t taking any chances. It wasn’t easy not getting to play with that sweet little thing but it was worth it. She loves him so much it would make you cry to see them together. Good thing she’s a dog and not a woman or I’d be in a great deal of trouble.

I find it interesting that dogs are a lot like us and so much more like our children. Loud voices bother some of us; some of us don’t like whispering. Some of us don’t like the way someone smells, sometimes it’s the curve of the smile, the turn of a head, or the lift of a hand. Either way, it’s locked somewhere in our history of experience to react. Pay close attention to how you feel or react next time you meet someone new. Try to figure out why you react the way you do. Was it something they said or the way they said it? Was it the scent of their cologne or maybe a food odor hanging on them? Do they look like someone who yelled at you? Maybe they remind you of someone who pronounced you smart when you did something clever? Things stay with us and I find that often it has something to do with scent, food, or position. Sometimes “bad” things can be turned into good feelings. Next time someone whispers at the other side of the room as you go by, pop a chocolate into your mouth and smile really big. See if it changes the experience for you. They probably weren’t talking about you anyway and now you’re all happy with endorphins dripping out of your brain. I love that feeling!

So what to do to get the dog to like the man? There are many theories and methods from trainers who achieve really good results with their behavior training. I like to start where you and the dog live. Scent, food, position. Each is strong by itself and together they are mighty persuaders for attention and bonding. The main thing I like about using these things is: it doesn’t cost any money, it happens in your regular life, and you don’t have to be an expert dog trainer to do it.

Scent — Woman sleeps in man’s shirt or wears it around home one day, leaving it with him the next. Man wears shirt during the day. This puts her scent on him. Adding a scent that the dog already likes to a kind, happy, relaxed man and you have a strong, positive combination.

Food — Feed good food whether it’s your own raw or home cooked food, or a really good commercial food. The man will hand feed the dog every bite of every meal for the next two weeks. Sit on the floor or in a chair, don’t bend over the top of her. The dog is on a leash. Don’t insist that she take the food; don’t even look at the dog. Hold out the food and let her take it in her own time. Be patient. If she refuses, put the food away and try again later. (Healthy dogs can go a day or so without eating.) After five days if the dog is eating from his hand without any resistance, the dog must start doing something for a bite of food. Let her choose what that thing might be and with each thing she does, she gets a bite…no more free food after this. Turn around, look cute, lie down, Sit, Stay. (Hey, what a great name for a store!) Pretty quick, you’ll be training her to do these things on cue. For a while though, it’s all about bonding, so go slow. The woman should let her man feed the dog every single bite and she should be quiet. Don’t tell him how to do it, let it be him and the dog. Even if he does it “wrong”, leave him and the dog alone. No food from the woman at all. Hey, she already likes you. After two weeks, take turns feeding bites during the same meal. Maybe a round robin of come commands. Adding laughter and joy is a good thing.

Position — Umbilical cord connecting man to dog. This 6 foot leash will not only create a totally supervised dog and create impeccable manners in a very short time, she can’t run away to hide. If the dog is not in her crate resting, she is attached during the day to the man by the umbilical cord. He will not try to pet the dog or hold her. If she picks up something she shouldn’t, he will trade her for something that is hers to chew on or play with. He will not stare at her and will speak to her softly and in matter of fact tones. He will go about his day as always. Making breakfast, eating it (he might give the dog the very last little bitty bite if she’s being quiet), reading the paper, doing the laundry, sweeping floors, maybe a little TV or a good book, and going for a walk of course! She’ll be along for the every day stuff understanding this is what we do in this house and it’s a great way to spend the day.

It’s pretty amazing how quickly we forget what “danger” is when we’re introduced to things that make us feel good. Warmth in a voice and chocolate does it for me. Scent, food and position might be the ticket for this dog.

Some of the most wonderful books written are in our SitStay library. I have trouble choosing a favorite, here are a few: The Culture Clash, The Other End of the Leash, Help for your Fearful Dog, Positive Perspectives, The Dog Whisperer by Paul Owens, and Don’t Shoot the Dog.

I met Daisy last Saturday. Daisy is a one year old yellow lab. She’s full of beans and fun. We worked on loose lead walking, staying close by, and modeling. Oh, she’s ready to be famous! Daisy Mae was working it! If the photos turn out like we think they will, you’ll see her in the Store very soon.

There are probably as many trainers who successfully teach dogs to walk on a leash as there are dogs walking on a leash. And they all have a special way to train. I don’t believe there is any “right” or “perfect” way to train dogs except that it must be done in a positive way. If you are pulling and jerking, please stop. Your dog won’t trust you any more and you might hurt her. Frustration and vet bills aside, it’s not any fun either. If you are getting what you are asking for from the dog and everyone is having fun, you’re doing it right.

Loose lead walking. Can’t get your partner to take the dog for a walk any more? Can’t get your partner to go for a walk with you and the dog because it’s no fun? Your arms are aching and your shoulder can’t take one more jerk or it truly will come out of its socket. Walks aren’t walks, they are pulling contests. Your dog is ten steps ahead with all the weight in her shoulders, nose working, eyes watching for the next rabbit to run across the street. Oh, no, no, not the squirrel! Ahhhhh! This is not fun.

Loose lead walking is easy and it’s fun. I will teach you to “cluck” and you’ll have your “clucker” with you any where you go. Your “clucker” will be the sound you make to get your dog’s attention and bring her back to you. (Not like a clicker which is like a camera taking a picture of a behavior you want to reinforce.) You will need a treat bag, really yummy treats, six foot leash, and a collar. I like the martingale collar. It’s easy on the dog and it’s pretty. Dog has collar on, leash is on, treats in bag, let’s go! First things first. Dog waits at door until we say it’s good to go out. The instant that dog relaxes and waits for you, the reward is an open door. We’re going outside. Sit down on the ground and wait. When your dog finally lies down and gets comfy, treat and praise quietly. It’s okay if the dog looks around, dog should be relaxed. You are ready to start loose lead walking.

Make a clucking sound with your tongue. Press your tongue up against the top, like you are pushing peanut butter off the roof of your mouth and suck your tongue down. If I have explained it right, you’ll hear, “Cluck, cluck” or some such sound as that. That’s good. It doesn’t matter if you’re really good at it or not or even what your “cluck” sounds like, just try to make the same sound each time. Cluck and treat the dog. Cluck, treat. Cluck, treat. Cluck, treat. Let’s go walking. I like to say to the dog, “Ready? Let’s go for a walk.” Walk at a good clip and be dropping treats onto the ground at your side where you want your dog to be. One treat at a time and lots of them, give you dog time to get the treat, no pulling. Drop, drop, drop. As quickly as she can eat them. Keep moving. Dog will pick them up and eventually will walk close to you to see if you’re going to drop anything else. Now it’s just practice. If she pulls, stand still. Hold the leash at your belly button, hold firm. Give her to the count of three to loosen the leash and come back. If she doesn’t come back right away, “Cluck, cluck” and when she does come back to you, treat, treat, treat. The cluck is only for when the dog doesn’t return to you quickly. Give her a second or two, let her decide you’re where she wants to be. Be consistent, no more pulling, no more dragging, no more shoulder replacements. You’ll both be having a wonderful walk and even your partner will join you. “A few more blocks before we turn back?” Oh, yeah. A dog who walks on a loose leash with you is a treat to everyone and a happy, happy dog.

There are a ton of wonderful books about walking on a leash and I like every one you see in our library. I love the one by Turid Rugaas, My Dog Pulls. What Do I Do?